My life is simply that. A weaving. We live in small town USA and I'm living a life I love…

Christmas Huh’s???

I was going to title it Christmas Blah’s but that’s not what this about… I don’t really know what it’s about though…  Christmas is barking at the back door and I LOVE Christmas.  

I mentioned in the previous post that I’m almost done with my Christmas shopping (I even have pretty much all of Stephen’s done too!!!)  The thing is… I guess I’m just kinda lost.  

I know this is going to be maybe more the same but I’m struggling.  

I know that Satan is preying on my feelings right now.  Christmas is such a nostalgic time of year full of memories and feelings…  and like I said, I’m lost.  I don’t really know what I’m supposed to be doing…  

Church is going well… God’s moving, it’s kinda like the gentle quakes anticipating the upcoming movements…  It’s exciting.  But there are so much that needs to be done, looked at, worked on, and just done.  It’s overwhelming to think about…  Stephen and I talk and I can come up with a million different action points but I don’t know which ones are supposed to have my name next to them…  I HATE this feeling.  

The holidays have exaggerated this feeling I think…  It’s such a great time to do stuff, minister, party, etc. and I just feel lost.  My thoughts at this point in time are the following:

1. Concentrate on our home so that Stephen doesn’t have to worry about stuff here and make sure we’re intentionally building traditions into our holidays for our kids.  I want them to have those memories that I have.

2.  Figure out a Staff/Deacon/Trustee party or open house…  I’m thinking appetizers and desserts and doing just an open house format so they can come and go and that way I don’t have to worry about our home being large enough…

3.  I think I’m going to invite some of the student girls to do something… maybe go to the mall, or something like that.  There is such a pressing need in our student area and it’s like the burden is pressing heavily because once kids are in that department you have six years and they’re gone.  It’s such a critical time of life…  I’m kinda at a loss here but I feel like I need to be proactive here and do something to build relationships… it’s easy to leave programs, hard to leave relationships…

I have a longer list in my head but those are my three main thoughts for now.  I have been lamenting our Christmas Eve Service.  Ours will be at 6:00 pm and will last a half hour.  In my perfect world it would contain the Christmas story, a cool feature song, a couple carols/hymns, ‘O Holy Night’, and will close with ‘Silent Night’ by candlelight.  Is that too much to ask?  

Oh well, if you’re reading this, please pray that I can muster of the self control, will power, and discipline that I need in my life…  I know it’s a bad time of year to be determining this but I can’t settle right now, I’ve got to do it…  So, here it goes…


One response

  1. It sounds like you are a bit overwhelmed and I can definitely understand. I think you’re up to the right idea with your list. One thing at a time and eventually you get stuff done. I’ve been thinking a lot about time management lately and how to use my time most effectively between home, church, writing, etc. This time of year can leave my head spinning… especially in a new church!

    3 December 2008 at 9:39 am

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