I’m sitting in the quiet darkness of the night… I’m a night owl, just in case you’ve never noticed the times on the majority of my posts. All of our kids are sleeping peacefully right now. We spent several hours in Lake Michigan today and then played with cousins for several more so Maddie & Charlie are just plan tuckered out. It’s starting to thunder tonight and I think we’re supposed to get a storm… oh, I’m in Michigan… I think Ohio’s just supposed to be HOT!
It’s funny, for years and years Stephen and I would open all the windows in our house for thunderstorms… we LOVED listening to the rain, wind, and thunder come down. Then we lived on Jackson for a while and were responsible for 7 – 11 horses… that kind ruined thunderstorms… Now, even to this day, when it starts to thunder something wells up in, an anxiety of sort and I think, “Oh, we have to get the horses in…” but we don’t.
My husband is across the globe right now. I’m anxiously awaiting a phone cal confirming that everyone made it okay and all their bags cleared customs without ridiculous tarifs attached… I kinda thought I’d hear something by now but I know I’d have heard something if there was a problem so at this point, no news is positive news. (Part of me is still SO wishing that I was there… another season.)
So, this weekend was a fullone. A dear friend of mine, Pam, you can check out her blog here, went to Living Proof in Louisville.. talk about a priviledge. I am SOOOO grateful that Stephen worked it out for me to be free to go, it was such a blessing, and a challenge.
I find it completely amazing that each woman that was there can be spoken to and yet it not be the same message… I am still trying to further digest all that I heard and that resonated within my soul… I want to take captive those seeds… plant them and watch them grow…
I was convicted on several things and so the ones I’m going to mention tonight are the ones that I am committing to commit to. They include:
1. Bible memorization: I am SOOOOO not good at this but I know it’s a lacking on my part. I am a big picture person and feel that if I can get the point across it’s okay… it’s not. I need to be a studen tof the scriptures more than and I am and I need to start with memorization. So, I went to target and got a spinny thing of index cards and I have started… The first verse i’m working on meditating on and memorizing is this:
For the word of God is living and active. It is sharper than any two-edged swords, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and actions of the heart.
2. I was convicted about the whole morning quiet time… I am NOT a morning person, by any stretch of the imagination. But something Beth said made complete sense… I need to settle the authority of the day in the morning… acknowledge ownership, so that I can meditate on that throughout the day and the question of who’s in charge is already answered. If I need to do homework later on, so be it.
I don’t know how else to summarize… I’m sure bits and pieces will surface for a while yet… It just made sense and it was exciting to think about… I was talking with my mom and the last 9 years… Stephen and I will be married 9 years in December… If I went back and chronicled our Christmas cards you would think we were retarded… no, I’m quite serious… We have had so many plans it’s ridiculous… but the cool thing is, every thought, intention, plan we’ve had… ever misstep, trial, pain, tear, hardship… every joy, celebration, confirmation… we’ve experienced had all lead to a very colorful planting that one day we’ll be able to harvest.
It seems like, maybe, and I hesitate to even write/type/say this: It seems like maybe, our life may start to make sense here within the next couple months. It seems like we might have some ‘ah ha’ moments where some of our past trials and tribulations, joys and experiences, will make sense… we know that not all of them will on this side of eternity, but maybe, just maybe… we might be getting ready to take a first step towards our purpose…
I am convinced that God has been creating within me a woman of means… I sensed a renewed confidence awaken within me this weekend… I’m stil scared silly, but I have faith that I will be made competantly competant for the task at hand… whether it’s the one visible right now, or one that is yet to be revealed…
Good night… if you think about please pray for my Stephen and his team… Chris, Amy, Autumn, Saralynn, Jeff, Lois, & Shannon. They are in Lutz, Ukraine this week… Thank you.